


Dude, this is importanant!

by CharlieDC



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Painkillers, Wisdom Teeth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-28
Updated: 2016-06-28
Packaged: 2018-07-18 18:31:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7325803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CharlieDC/pseuds/CharlieDC
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack, for some reason, never had to get his wisdom teeth out.</p><p>Until now.</p><p>Neither Beyoncé nor Jesus Christ himself could have prepared Bittle.</p><p>(It's fluffy and short, enjoy!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dude, this is importanant!

**Author's Note:**

> Your surgery is going to go fine (just make sure your dad turns his phone off).

_/ ✓ \\_

Just when he gets Jack settled on the couch, the apartment turns into a little bit of hell fire-induced chaos. Jack is quietly out-of-his-gourd on the couch, touching his head and humming a song they sang in the car (the video he has is priceless). He just got him settled, assured him that _no_ , he was not abducted by aliens, _calm down, Jack, you got your wisdom teeth out._ Jack is giggling and singing and generally happy, pausing every now and then to gasp at something mundane. Driving home was especially fun, when old One Direction came on the radio and Jack (not-so-surprisingly) knew _all the words_ . He was saying things like, _“I don’t know if you know this, but your ass is out of this world, Bits._ ” and _“I want to buy you a puppy and name it Apple Pie so I can come home and say ‘HEY GET ME SOME APPLE PIE!’ and the little guy - or girl, it’s whatever - will come running to me and I get me some apple pie, yknow?”_

It’s funny and then it’s not as funny and now it’s gotten to the dangerous _I wonder if I hit my head hard enough with this pan my face with be embedded into it_ zone. Jack is humming, and Bitty is putting things away and making sure he has the right amount of Vicodin and gause and pillows for Maximum Comfort-

When the phone rings.

Slowly, ever so slowly, the bubble pops. And it’s like he’s in _The Matrix_ or some ridiculous 2000s movie because things go at half the pace and he sees _every detail of destruction_ going on right as it happens.

Jack’s head snaps to the sound, and his pupils blow to an astronomically impossible size. Bitty’s head turns towards the phone, too, and he turns his body as if to make his way to get it. But Jack, alas, is too quick, and even though things are slow he’s somehow the speed of light and he’s there, picking up the phone. Bitty drops the pillow he was carrying and he’s speed-walking over to his boyfriend who is now trying to figure out how to answer a cell phone. When he reaches for it, Jack is holding it away from him, saying “Not now, dude, this is _importanant!”_

He starts jumping, and when that doesn’t work he uses an age old tactic and says, “Jack, oh my god! _There’s a moose outside!”_ It’s cheap but it works because Jack’s high enough to be distracted and Eric’s grabbing the mobile to hit the answer button without checking the caller ID. He smiles warmly at the brass greeting and exchanges his hello’s, how are you’s when he hears another sound behind him and he turns and, yup, there’s Jack, freaking out just a little.

“Bits- _Bits_. Bittle. B-bop. Bittley-dooooooo.” Jack starts giggling, and then gets serious, “Gimme the phone.”

He says it as if it’s a statement but it comes out as a question and Eric tries _really hard,_ like _really_ hard (let the record show he _does try_ ), not to smile but, unfortunately, given his luck today, it’s just not happening. Jack is reaching for the phone but Eric, ever quick, is side stepping and guiding him back to the couch.

“Jack just sit back down and I’ll grab you some more pillows, okay?” Bitty’s voice is soft and sweet like maple syrup on morning pancakes with sprinkles, Jack thinks, so yeah he listens to him but only because he’s a bit dizzy and wants more pillows.

But he wants Bitty’s attention again and he doesn’t quite know who he’s talking to on the phone. It’s _just not fair_ that _that_ person is getting more attention when Jack is obviously the one who needs Bittle’s presence here, 100% focused on nothing but him (and fluffing his pillows, naturally). There is no way - _no way JOSE!_ \- that Jack Zimmermann is going to sit here and wait around for pillows when his Bitty is on the phone with some butthead.

He doesn’t realize he said that last part out until Bitty is standing next to him, holding the phone away from his ear and trying to stifle a laugh.

“Bits - you listening?” He hears the person on the other end ask and Bitty’s back to _their_ attention. _Goddammit,_ Jack thinks, _who in the hell could be taking up all his attention?!_ Especially because Bitty isn’t looking at him anymore but he’s facing a window and responding,

“Yeah I’m right here, Shits.”

And it’s that name that turns Jack’s angry-pouty face into one of pure joy. His face lights up, the way it would if someone just said he could play for the Habs _for ten years_ if he wanted to (which is a dumb question because, _fuck yes_ , he wants to). Or if he won like 5 Stanley Cups in a row. Or if Bitty was wearing nothing but an apron and just pulled a maple-apple pie out of the oven.

Like all those things, but combined into one big, tall, moustache-wearing, law student.

“Is that Shitty!?” He’s reaching over the back of the couch and Eric’s turned back around now, smiling at Jack’s grabby hands and inconsistent, inaudible noises.

Note: Eric is giggling. Note #2: it makes Jack’s heart explode.

“I wanna talk to Shiiiitttyyy!” Jack whines, however he’s smiling, so Bitty knows he’s not discontent and he’s keeping the phone away from him for _whatever_ reason.

“Jack you need to lay _down._ ” On the last word, there was a punctuation and an emphasis with Eric putting his free hand on Jack’s shoulder and easing him back down into a laying position. He’s gazing up at Bitty and he’s smiling all dopey-like and then he gets an idea! It’s fool proof! If only someone were here to witness the beauty of this plan, it’d be even more great. Shitty would totally high five him for it. No - he’d hug him for it; _Ransom and Holster_ would high five him for it. Maybe they’d bro-fist. Chowder would high-five. No, Chowder would awkwardly sulk away if he heard this plan-

Wait. He’s getting off track. He hears Bitty’s voice and he’s still looking at him but his vision isn’t quite focused because even though he’s looking at Bitty he’s not looking _at Bitty_ \- Jack’s confusing himself.

“Yeah I just brought him home, he’s supposed to be resting but all he wants to do is talk to you.” There’s noise on the other end and Bitty’s laughing, “Well I might have to agree with you on that one. Although, he is pretty high on painkillers.”

Eric keeps laughing and Jack’s too distracted to remember his plan but then Bitty looks at him with a warm smile and, yup, plan is back on.

“He might be lucid enough to hold a conversation but I don’t know, Shits, best not push-”

“I’ll suck your dick if you let me talk to Shitty.”

Eric’s brain short circuits, and he’s smiling at Jack and replying with a small _oh honey_ before Jack hears an obnoxiously familiar uproarious sound.

It’s the sound of Shitty laughing. Eric promptly puts him on speaker.

“Jack I didn’t know you used sex as a favor to talk to me! Honestly, buddy, I gotta say I’m so proud of you. You’ve come so far.”

Jack is blushing and trying to see, if he wills himself hard enough, if he can mold into the couch and never resurface.

Bitty is there to run a hand through his hair, dropping a small kiss to his temple.

“While a blowjob is a nice bargaining tool,” Bitty says now that he has Shitty off speaker, “I’m going to have to pass until your jaw stops aching like a blister in skates.”

Jack is looking like he’s going to cry.

“Bu-but I just wanted-” He’s tearing up, “I wanted to talk to Shits and I didn’t- I don’t know _how_ and I’m so _tired_ and my mouth _hurts - oh my god, Bittle,_ IT HURTS SO MUCH!” He has both hands gently touching his cheeks as if to show Bitty precisely where (because Bitty doesn’t know what a mouth is, obviously).

“Shits, I’m gonna have to call you back.” And before he hangs up the phone, Jack hears a loud _“Go to him, Bittle!_ ” and Eric’s sitting next to him on the couch and he’s holding him, shushing him.

“I miss him.” Jack says and, _okay_ , that’s the first thing that’s made sense since they’ve gotten back to their apartment. The funny thing is, is that Jack is slumped against a boy two times smaller than him and he’s got his small arms wrapped around his shoulders and he’s using his chest as a pillow (it’s better than anything fluffed and stuffed behind him, if you’re asking Jack).

Bitty’s rubbing his back and he’s cooing him, whispering sweet things. He’s laying down next, pulling Jack between his legs and still wrapping his arms around his shoulders, guiding Jack’s head back down to use him as a pillow.

“Go to sleep, sweetheart,” Eric is whispering, carding his fingers through his hair, “I’ll get you some ice cream when you wake up.”

Jack smiles, and he’s too sleepy and way too groggy to reply, so he dozes off.

What he finds out when he wakes up, however, (when he’s 100% lucid) is the video Eric took of him on the way out of the doctor’s office and during the car ride home, went viral almost instantly. People got a kick out of the Falconer’s fearless captain acting high as a fucking kite, hopped up on painkillers and singing Live While We’re Young with his boyfriend in the car (off key, naturally).

The team doesn’t stop chirping him for the rest of preseason. 


End file.
